If success has eluded us, when we know we could be doing so much more, the time to reevaluate life is here. We must be honest with ourselves, the hard choices made, a plan with defined goals, yet with the flexibility needed in the real world should be thought out. Change begins when we recognize that must master ourselves, holding in check our desires, passion, and excesses.
We close out another year and usher in a new decade. All of us tend to make resolutions on New Year’s day and yet how many of us follow through? We often give up within a month, why? Change is hard, leaving our comfort zone is not easy, does it mean we do not want to improve our lives? We all have dreams and aspirations, but are we willing to put in the work that it will take to reach them? If we want something bad enough, we will make the time, find the funds, be consistent and throw away the excuses.
Fear. It can stop you in your tracks. Hold you with an iron grip. It will impede your growth if you let it. It comes in many forms, but today I will write about the kind of fear that holds you back from achieving your goals and dreams.
Have you ever thought about why you do certain things in life but avoid others? So many of us choose to do nothing rather than face uncertainty. We often feel it is better to stay where we are than to risk failure or embarrassment. The irony of this train thinking is: the more boldly you go after what you want and fail, the better your chances at future success will be. Our failures help us on the path to success.
We avoid certain situations by making up all kinds of excuses. When I first wrote my book I was asked to speak in front of a law enforcement conference. They booked me for 90 minutes, so I would speak for an hour and the rest would be a question and answer period.
I said yes right away because I had gone undercover with one of the detectives who asked me and I didn’t want to look chicken. I had never spoken in front of a crowd. I don’t even remember speaking in front of a class in high school. I had no idea what I was going to say.
I went to Youtube and I watched a few people speak. I bought a how-to book. It was a couple of months off so I pushed it to the back of mind. When it was only a few weeks off I started getting real nervous. I started thinking to myself, why did I agree to speak? Maybe I could play sick, etc. I actually thought about calling them and canceling. I pushed that all aside and made some note cards to use. The day of the speaking engagement arrived and when I arrived there were, even more, law enforcement officers than they had told me would be at the event. I was scared I would get up there and choke. I was afraid that those people would laugh at me because I never went to college or learned how to speak in front of people.
I saw a couple of detectives that I had a history with. We had been adversaries years ago when I was a criminal, but today they were joking with me. I watched an FBI Special Agent speak before me, and he told a great story. I tucked my notecards into my back pocket, took a deep breath and got out there.
That day I sold three cases of books and I even sold the one I had stuck under my car seat without a cover. I could have sold more books, but I was out. I ended up speaking for two hours total, and it only seemed like a quarter of that because the time went so fast.
It worked out better than I could have imagined. That day gave me confidence that I could do anything. I came to realize we all have the fears and that by embracing them and moving forward, it makes us stronger.
We each have certain strengths and weaknesses. What if, instead of always building on our strengths, we learned to chip away at those weak areas?
I was speaking to my army friend last week. We were talking about working out. He has tried out a variety of fitness programs, ranging from Jiu-jitsu to just weight lifting. He settled on Crossfit a few months ago. He recently had to change to another gym, because the one he had been going to closed. This new gym was farther from his home and bigger, with a lot more people. He was nervous about going there to train. He took a class on weight lifting, and he met some cool people. He found out the other people he met were nervous just like him. He was really glad he pushed himself into going.
We all express fear and discomfort in different ways. Some people act tough, others laugh and others may cry. I encourage you to get out of your comfort zone this week. Take that risk, face your fear, and find out what you are capable of.
For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.
2 Timothy 1:7
For God gave us not a spirit of fearfulness; but of power and love and discipline.
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:6)
1 Peter 5:6-8
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.