Category Archives: life hack

Accomplishing The Impossible

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How many times in your life have you told yourself that something was impossible to do, yet you ended up accomplishing it? We all have the ability to make the impossible possible.  It comes down to mindset.  If you believe you cannot do something, you won’t be able to do it.

If instead, you have an unwavering belief that you will reach your goal, you will.

There is an author that I have admired since I was a little boy. To date, he has sold over 300 million books in many different languages. He was even a favorite of Presidents like Ronald Reagan.

He was never a book critic favorite, but he nevertheless could produce books that people would read.  He wrote over 100 novels and 250 short stories in his lifetime, passing away in June of 1988.  He never went to college and in fact, he only ever made it to the 10th grade. Times were hard, so he had to quit school and begin working to support himself and his family. He might not have had any formal training after that, but he read as many books as he could get his hands on.

He was a professional boxer at times, a trainer, a merchant seaman, and an officer in World War II.  He held so many jobs that I could not even begin to list them all here.  He later used this vast experience and the knowledge of the people, landscape, and history to fill his books.

He had no formal training, he just sat down and wrote.  The man was Louis Lamour, who today is mostly known for his Western books.

People around him early on urged him to get into a career that would pay so he would have something in life.  He believed that he could accomplish what everyone told him could not be done.

Deep down we have to believe that we can do what we set out to do no matter our situation or what others tell us.

You have your own unique ability to do what most people will tell you is impossible.

 

Throughout my life, I always felt that I could do anything that I worked hard enough towards.  I directed my energies in the wrong direction many times, but I did complete what I set out to do.

My main problem was I would take short cuts. I was willing to do whatever it took to get to where I wished to be.  This works on the short term, but it has long-term effects and nothing is on solid ground.  In a society where there is so much emphasis on the outcome and reward it is easy to fall into that trap.

I decided that I wanted to fight an MMA bout years ago and my coach told me that I would have to fight at 145 lbs, which was much lighter than I walked around.  He based it on my height, body type, strength and skill set.  I thought he was kidding because even in high school I was never that small.  I doubted I could get that low.  The good thing was that I was in a good gym and we had many fighters that passed through. One of those was a fighter named Cub Swanson.  Cub was getting ready for a fight and he was cutting weight.  We all rolled with him and trained hard.  Cub was going to fight at 145 lbs at the end of the week and yet he was stronger and bigger than me.  Cub made weight and won his fight.  After watching Cub make weight, I knew that it was possible for me.

My time came and with the help of two fighters: Tim and Arian, I was able to make weight.

I learned that I could lean out and I learned that I could stay fit and strong while weighing less.

We can never forget that what seems today impossible will only be so until we complete it.  If others have done, it so can you.  If you have the courage and drive there will never be anything out of your reach.

There was a man who died 1,983 years ago who was only actively teaching for 3.5 years, yet today 2.2 billion people claim to follow his teachings. When he was alive he had 1/1000 of a percent of the Roman population following him. In just a few centuries 56 percent of Romans were believers.  That man is Jesus.  His story would seem impossible, yet here we are today.

Matthew 19:26 Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Matthew 17:20  For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”

Job 42:2 “I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.

Jeremiah 32:17 ‘Ah, Lord God! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you.

Self-Discipline

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Every dream, goal and plan comes down to being self-disciplined enough to get through the rough parts and the ability to stay committed until completion.

Self-discipline is our unique ability to control our urges, wants, desires and our emotions in order to reach our goals. It is a mindset that must be built upon so that we make the right choices daily to guide our lives in the direction that is best.  It means we must give up small momentary pleasure in order to gain lasting happiness.

I was thinking about where I learned self-discipline.  One place I am sure I learned it was when I was at Army and Navy Academy in Carlsbad, California.  The morning wake-up bugle call reveille would sound at 6:15am.  Your bed had to be made, you had to dress with shined shoes, brass for inspection.  I used to get up at 5:30am so I could shower with plenty of hot water and take my time.

I was never in a rush to get ready and out to the quad for formation.  There really is something special about being awake while the world around you slumbers.  I committed to waking up early at a young age, and it has followed me through my whole life.

When I lived in New York I used to walk two miles every morning at 5am, then get two newspapers and a coffee before I came home.  This would set the pace for my day. I felt like it let me get in front of the day before others were awake.  I also feel like I have been able to get more finished in my life with this “extra” time.

People always talk about how they do not have any extra time.  Why not find that time before the day starts?

Many people feel that being self-disciplined will mean that they will have to give up much of what they feel is good about their lives.  There is no doubt that when shifting towards a more disciplined lifestyle your life will change.  It does not have to be bad or painful.  Examine your life and decide what is important to you.  If eating and drinking whatever you wish with no limits is what is important then look at the inevitable outcome.  You get to live with obesity, heart disease, and a host of other ailments.  How about staying up late to surf the internet or binge watch your favorite show? You must accept being tired at work or school the next day, and not performing well.

What if instead, you choose to eat food that is filled full of nutritional value.  Drink more water, keeping yourself hydrated. How would those choices harm you? Eating healthy foods does not mean a diet, it just means choosing the right tasty things to fuel your body. How about choosing to read a chapter of a book each night before bed and get to sleep at a reasonable hour?

Everyone has heard the phrase, “You just have to do it.”  It is much easier said than done for the average person with years of bad habits ingrained in their life.

So start small with something that you can do very easily.  If you need extra time in your day, how about waking up an hour earlier?  If you would like to lose weight, how about starting with a walk every morning before breakfast without fail.

If you make a commitment and stick with it, no matter what, it will translate into other areas of your life.  That means you must throw out all the excuses of the past… the  “I’m too tired,” “I have no time,” “My alarm did not go off,” or “I’m not feeling well.”

Once you make a habit of the first small change for a month, it’s time to commit to another small change. After a few months of these small victories under your belt, you can clearly see the changes that have come from your new found self-discipline.

This is something that you cannot buy.  There is no magic pill.  You have to be committed and work on it a little bit every day.  Think about this for a minute: why does the diet and self-help industry bring in billions a year?  They know that people do not want to put in the hard work necessary for lasting change.  A lot of people are looking for the easy way because we all hope there is a way.

The bottom line is that every journey begins with that first step and then continuing to step even when you don’t feel like it.

You must decide what it is you want in the long term. Once you have the goal in mind it will help you push aside the many distractions that will inevitably arise. You may feel discomfort along the way, but knowing that is part of the process makes it bearable. It is time to make decisions that benefit you for the long term.  Surround yourself with other people who are self-disciplined and cheer each other on.

Hebrews 12:11

For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Proverbs 5:21-23

21 For your ways are in full view of the Lord, and he examines all your paths. 22 The evil deeds of the wicked ensnare them; the cords of their sins hold them fast. 23 For lack of discipline they will die,  led astray by their own great folly.

 

Failure

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There is no escape, no way to hide.  It will find all of us at one point or another during our lifetimes.  It has been said that a book of failures would be a great book to read, so that we could learn from other’s mistakes.

Have you ever noticed that there are never any “failure seminars”?  There are plenty of speakers on the topic of success.  You can catch a motivational seminar online or in a conference room in a hotel most any weekend.

I have failed at so many things I could not even list them all here.  The good news is, I took a valuable lesson away from each one.  One of the best thing about pushing yourself hard and ultimately hitting your goals, is that our minds tend to gloss over the periods of heartbreak and failure, focusing instead on our successes.

One day I decided to take up a new hobby: prospecting for gold in the mountains and deserts of California.  I really did not know much about it at all, but when my wife and dog and I hiked in the mountains we had seen several people panning for gold in the streams and it got me interested.  I started reading everything I could about gold prospecting and the history of the gold bearing regions in California.

The next weekend, instead of heading off on our usual hike, we packed our lunch, a few shovels, and some tools we had picked up for gold panning.  We headed to the East Fork of the San Gabriel River.   We parked our car and hiked a mile or so up a path along the river.  We found a giant boulder and I started digging out buckets of dirt and passing them to my wife who would pan it out in the water.  We dug for hours and found nothing, not a trace of that elusive gold.  We did have a great time! Our dog fished in the river, we enjoyed the sunshine, cool water, amazing scenery and our hike.

We went back to that river many times.  Each time we dug deep holes and found nothing but black sand and tiny gold flakes in our pan.  One day, an older prospector came by our hole to chat.  He told me where I should dig based on his experience.  Later that day we found a small “picker,” which is what you call a tiny gold nugget that is big enough to pick up with your fingers.

We were doing almost exactly what the 49ers did during the gold rush.  Instead of iron pans, we used plastic pans, and unlike them, we were not trying to make a living from it.

It turns out that most of the gold is still there, undiscovered.  The early miners took the easy gold that they could find near the surface. It is back breaking labor with little payoff to keep digging and looking for the deeper gold. I enjoyed it because it was a challenge and a treasure hunt.

We graduated from panning to setting up a sluice in the water. The next stage was learning how to metal detect in the Mojave desert – which meant getting out there in the early hours before the temperatures rose.  Hunting for gold nuggets in the desert with a metal detector is called “nugget shooting.”  We joined the Prospector’s Club of Southern California, which gave us access to claims all over the region.  Then I graduated to operating a dry washer in the desert.

I learned to love the peace and quiet of the dry, desolate Mojave desert.  We started finding “color” almost every time we went out.

I wanted to find a good sized nugget with my metal detector before I left California, but it was not to be.  On my last attempt before moving, a solo trip early in the morning, I saw some fellow prospectors find a gold nugget just a few yards away from where I was looking.  I guess you could say I failed because I never found that fist-sized nugget I was seeking.  Instead, I would say that I gained some useful knowledge and made some great memories.

Prospecting mirrors so much of what we do in life.  Each one of us is seeking some kind of treasure.  There’s no guarantee you will find that big nugget.  Successes and failures: they all come with valuable lessons.  I look back on the hours I spent digging dirt holes and wandering the desert not as a failure, but as some of my favorite memories.

My friend Mark and I spoke about the topic of failure this past week.  After a successful high school and college wrestling career at Oklahoma State, where he was a two time All-American, Mark began his mixed martial arts career with the WEC (World Extreme Cagefighting).  He did well enough to be picked up by the UFC when they bought the WEC.

When I first met Mark, I noticed that he carried himself differently than most of the guys I knew, and he was open about being a Christian.  Mark was not pushy with his faith, but he was setting an example by the way he lived and he was always ready to lend a hand to anyone who needed one.

I trained with Mark for his first fight in the UFC, which he lost.  It was a bad loss, but he was back to training within a week.  Mark Munoz went on to have a long UFC career and while he never won the belt, he always left the ring a winner.  He was voted as “the nicest guy in MMA” by the UFC.  I learned from Mark that in MMA, a loss does not equal failure.  When you keep fighting, improving and moving forward, you are succeeding, regardless of what the outcome of any one fight may be.

Mark told me that if you have a fear of failure you will fall backward.  If you embrace it, you will take away a valuable lesson.  We all fail.  We have to learn from it and keep moving forward.

Resilience, Adversity, and Desire: A real champion in life, whether you are fighting in a cage, prospecting for gold, or trying to get a promotion in your job, is the person that shows resilience even when they fail.  Adversity is something to use to make us better, not break us down.  We will all face it, but how we view it and push past it will define us.  Desire is what will make you get up each day with determination: study harder, work harder, train harder.

Mark also reminded me that what we speak about every day is what we become, so choose your words wisely.

 

Romans 5:3-5

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Proverbs 24:16

For the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity.

Luke 6:45

A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.

 

Decisions & Identity

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Taking responsibility for your actions is the first step towards changing your life’s path, and yet, after those first few steps, there is life – staring you in the face again.  Tomorrow, next week, five years from now – you alone must continue to make good decisions to stay on your new path.  Along the way, you will face let downs, failures, and setbacks.  Don’t let those times define you or your future.

Life After the Army

My Army friend from the last two blog posts is now retired.  When the structured life of the Army became a thing of the past – his deployments were over, the men he was responsible for were home living their lives – he found himself looking for a new identity in his life. One day, he started looking for that identity in a bottle.

Many people turn to a bottle of alcohol, pills – prescription or not – or even food as a means to numb pain.  The familiar mind dulling power of alcohol was a choice my friend made because it allowed him to temporarily forget the pain of the past and blur out the struggle ahead of trying to return to a “normal” life after his life of service.  The problem is, each day brought the same problems and the same pain.

He explained to me that after his retirement from the Army, he was depressed.  He thought about ending it all at his lowest point.  Statistics show that every single day 20 veterans commit suicide.

Thankfully, his survival instincts kicked in and reality hit him.  He had a loving family, he had lived through deployment, and yet there he was, feeling sorry for himself.  He sat there and was completely honest with himself. He was at one of those places where the next choice he made would again affect the rest of his life.

Looking back on his life, he realized that when he was given things. he always ended up failing in the end.  But, when he worked for something, he always succeeded.  He knew the path to overcoming depression and creating his new identity would be hard, but he knew it would be worth it to recover.

A Champion’s Identity

One day a few years back when I lived in California, I walked into the gym to get a workout in with the fight team.  At the gym, that day was a man named Muhammed “King Mo” Lawal, a professional Mixed Martial Arts fighter.  He was not well known in America at that point, but internationally and in Japan, he was a big star in the fighting world. My coach told me that I was going to train with him that day.

Mo and I became friends and we used to go get something to eat together after fight team practice. He signed with Strikeforce MMA, and after one fight he was going to fight Gegard Mousasi for the light heavyweight championship belt. He took his training seriously.

He won that fight live on network TV and a few days later we were enjoying a meal together.  I was surprised by his calm demeanor.  He had just won the championship belt in a major promotion, so I had no idea what to expect.  He was the same man I knew before, except he had become a world champion.

Mo lost his championship belt in his next fight, handing him his first loss as a professional fighter. Once again we were out eating a few days later, and he was still no different.

“Losing is no big deal, sure I want to win, but everyone loses. In my life, I have had more wins than losses, so I never worry about it or feel sorry for myself.  Tomorrow is another day.  I think about all those who will never have a chance like I have in life.  When I win I just go to my hotel room and watch TV, I don’t want to be out celebrating. If I lose, I go out and share the time with everyone else.  It is the losses that make you, not the wins.  The wins are easy.  It is coming back and picking up the pieces and getting right back to what you love.” – King Mo

He explained that all those titles he had won didn’t mean anything. He has no idea where any of the belts or medals even are at this point.  What he cares about is the ability to compete, because that is what he loves, that is his identity. And, in the bigger picture of life, what he believes really matters is your family and those who are close to you.  He then went on to say that having compassion for other people is another part of his identity.

He walks it like he talks it.  We had another conversation a few weeks ago, just after he lost a fight to Cro Cop in Japan, and he told me he was already back working on his craft.

My Identity Crisis

While I had wanted an out from the increasing pressure of wearing a wire for the FBI for eight straight years, there was still a part of me that was crushed when the FBI told me I was not going back to Brooklyn, my days undercover were over. The Mob was my identity, I didn’t know who I was without it.

I had a few weeks alone in Canada to really let the reality of life sink into my mind.  I was frightened, not at the prospect of someone coming after me, but because the real world was an unknown. I had not been around regular people much since I was a teenager.

I would then have another two years in protection to really think over my life.  I sat alone for most of those two years, thinking about my past and worrying about my future.  I was determined to take my fresh start and make life work the right way this time.

I have fallen, I have made bad decisions along the way, and I will fall again.  Each time I learn from it and I become stronger.  I was only able to change myself up to a point.  Then the day came that I let God into my heart, and now I no longer have to make the journey alone.  He has the power to change and guide me.  Now I live with faith instead of fear.

Matthew 6:34

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Deuteronomy 31:6

Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.

Ephesians 2:10

For we are God’s masterpiece.  He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old has gone, and the new has come.

God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing. – C. S. Lewis

 

The Turning Point

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DCIM101GOPRO

 

I wrote about my friend who went into the Army to change his life last week, but how did the first of many turning points in his life come about?

In the 1990’s my Army friend’s mother passed away.  This threw his life into a tailspin because he had largely relied on her for his lifestyle.  With her went the business, the house, the cars etc.  He still tried to live the same lifestyle and it did not work. He ended up with no car working at a hotel where he cashed his paycheck and carried around the cash in his pocket.

One week he was robbed and he couldn’t pay rent to the friend he was living with, and as a result, he was kicked out.  He moved from place to place.  He knew his chaotic lifestyle was not working to get him ahead, and that it was time to make a drastic change or he would end up on the streets.

He faced his fears and took that first step: walking into the US Army recruiting office. He was then forced to tie up loose ends before going to basic training. It was there that he began to understand what his previous choices had done to his life.

Another friend of mine changed his life around completely in the last few years.  He came to this country from the Ukraine with his parents and they settled into the close-knit Russian community in Hollywood. He was soon part of a Russian gang, doing and selling drugs.  He was taking up to thirty painkillers a day along with anything else he was given.

He started doing armed robberies for the rush and to hustle up money.  In his words, “The devil took over for awhile.”  He was picked up on a weapons charge and it cost his parents around a hundred thousand dollars in lawyer’s fees, but he continued on the same path.

The pills and drugs distorted his thought process, until one night at a rave he nearly overdosed on a mixture of strong drugs.  He describes that experience as being in hell for many hours.   When he finally came home he found his mother reading the Bible and crying because she thought he was dead.

Something clicked inside him that day, and he knew that he would be dead unless he turned his life around.  The guy he did armed robberies with had his house shot at one night and disappeared.  Many others in the Russian community had died from drug overdoses.

He knew that he needed to go to school, establish a career and help his parents pay off the debt. He realized that all of his problems were the results of his choices, and that all the pain his family was dealing with was because of his life actions.  A lot of us never take into account how much our choices affect others, both directly and indirectly.

He took the first step and threw away his pills.  He went cold turkey – no rehab, no group, just stopped.  It was a difficult six months, but after he got over the withdrawals he knew that he could accomplish anything that life threw at him.

My friend Andre, on the other hand, has made good choices since he was very young,  but things haven’t always been easy for him.  He grew up with a father that did cocaine and gambled, never paying much attention to him.  If Andre had turned out bad, it would have been no shock to anyone.

There were key turning points early in Andre’s life. One was when he wanted a BMX bike so badly and his father laid out a challenge for him that seemed impossible for him to accomplish.  When he met the challenge, he decided there wasn’t anything in life he couldn’t accomplish.

He made a decision that he would never do anything his father would do or did, so that he would not end up like him. Andre used his father as a reverse role model.  If his father drank, he never would.  If he gambled, Andre would not.

He went on to get a bachelor’s degree in Psychology and an master’s degree in Social Ecology, both from the University of California at Irvine.  He kept his eye on his end goals, and he uses his story to encourage others and has been a huge encouragement to me personally.

Andre’s Ted Talk, if you would like to see more of his story is here: http://tinyurl.com/TedX-Andre

Regardless of the hand, you’re dealt in life, our current circumstances boil down to our own choices.   It is difficult to accept and many never do accept it, because it is just easier to blame others or bad luck.

My life has had many turning points, and one I remember happened at an Italian Restaurant in Culver City, California. I was at what is called a “sit down” in the mafia world.  It is where two higher ups decide your fate. At the meeting I was told that I was now out of an operation we had going on.

I was so mad that when I left the meeting I was planning revenge.  I felt that I deserved to remain part of the operation and that they were stealing from me by taking it away – nevermind that it was all stolen money, to begin with.  As I analyzed the situation and looked back on everything I was invested in and angry about, I began to see my life for what it was – a series of bad choices that had left me an angry criminal.   I had wasted my life and I knew that I wanted out of it altogether.

It would be only months later that the FBI offered me a way out.  I began to make different choices.

God had another plan for my life, I just didn’t realize it yet.

No matter who you are or what your life has been like in the past, our lives are shaped by the choices we make. Throughout our lives, there will be many turning points where life can become something else.

Big changes in your life can grow out of very small seeds of the choices you make.

Matthew 13:32-32

Jesus told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field.  Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches.”

Deuteronomy 31:6

Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.

The Choices We Make

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I am not defined by my past, yet it has shaped my future.  My experiences, both good and bad, have shaped my life.  I would never be who I am today without all that has become part of my history.

I was on the phone the other night speaking with a friend I have known for over three decades.  At one point in the conversation he said, “I’ve never had any major problems in my life that I did not bring on myself.”  I have believed this to be true in my own life for many years, but I had not heard anyone say it out loud before.

It is a simple answer to the question that many of us have asked. Why is this happening to me?

In my case, I knew deep down that I was the cause of all my problems, but I didn’t want to vocalize them at the time.

It was only when I decided to start writing down my life that I could trace every single situation in my life that had taken place back to previous actions I had taken.

In my early years when I was alone facing the repercussions of my choices, it was easy for me to dismiss my predicament. It went something like this, “If only I had not trusted…” or “If I had just left when I knew trouble was coming..”

The pattern is simple to decipher with the luxury of time.  I alone was responsible for the situation that I found myself involved in.  The first step was to be honest with myself, admit it and accept it.

The silver lining in all of this revelation was that I could use the lesson I had learned to help guide my life today.  I began to think more about the longterm effects of my choices.

My friend and I went over our past for a few minutes and then he said, “I am very happy now.”

I agreed with him, referring to myself.   Part of growing up for us was realizing that happiness is not our circumstances – it is a decision to remain in a positive mindset regardless of the things that have happened to you or are happening around you.  Often I hear people say, “I want a job that makes me happy,” or maybe it’s a relationship, or more money, or a better family that you think would make you happy.  Happiness has nothing to do with your circumstances and everything to do with your mindset and your decision to be happy.

Together my friend and I chose not to go to school unlike most of the people we were around.  I felt that my career path was laid out in front of me in the criminal world. He was not interested in what I was pursuing because he was on his own path. We stayed close over the years, but he had a couple of lost years before every action he took left him with only one option: joining the US Army.  He joined, and it changed his life.  It gave him structure and purpose – things he had been missing.

This was how he ended up in a blown up Humvee on the road between Iraq and Kuwait.  It is how he ended up in the mountains of Afghanistan getting hit by shrapnel from an RPG. It was also how he was blown off a building in Afghanistan by yet another RPG.  Those were his tragedies, but not only negative results came from his choices.

Two decades ago, when he was on leave from boot camp he came to visit me in Orange County, California.  We had a great time and he stayed longer than he should have.  He ended up missing a number of busses and I could not book him a plane flight out of Orange County in time.  He found a way to take a bus down to San Diego and then another long bus ride across the country to his base.  He met his future wife on a bus on that cross-country journey.  They have two wonderful daughters and have been married for 18 years.

Life could have been much easier for both of us, much less pain, if we had chosen different paths.  Yet, God gave each of us free will.  The ability to make our own choices and live with the consequences.  In his sovereignty, he can use any of our life choices, good or bad, for the ultimate good of his people and for his plan.

God wants to be close to each of us, but our sin separates us from him. He does not force us to ask for forgiveness, but he did give us his son as a sacrifice, so that we have a way to him through forgiveness.

We cannot tell people how to act, can not make them change.  We cannot force them to believe that God has a plan for good in their lives.  What we can do is show them with our actions. They will have to recognize God’s hand in our lives and seek him out on their own.  The choice to be Christian is mine, just as that choice is yours. This is one choice that I look back on now and ask myself, why did I wait so long?

Matthew 7:13-14

Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.

Romans 8:28

We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Christmas For Everyone!

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christmas1

I would like to share my favorite Christmas memory with you.  I was very young and I woke up during the night and went out to the living room to see the Christmas tree.  It was dark, but I could see a tricycle with red wood blocks on the pedals.  I heard something outside and I looked out the window and I thought I saw Santa Claus take off in his sleigh.

I really enjoyed the holiday season as a kid.  We did Christmas shows at school, we told the tale of the three wise men and the star of Bethlehem.  Christmas decorations were up all over the city of Los Angeles. It was a very special time spent with family.

As an adult, I went through a phase where I grew less fond of the holidays, but one thing I could never understand was why it was offensive to some people to be told, “Merry Christmas.”  It does not hurt anyone and it certainly never hurt me to hear it.  While I do not drink alcohol, when someone offers me a drink I just say, “No thank you,” but the kind thought behind them offering one to me is not lost.  Yet, some people today find the idea of Christmas offensive and would like to erase the holiday.  Just how many people find it offensive?  According to some statistics, in the United States, ninety-two percent of Americans celebrate Christmas.  That is nine out of ten.  Still, society makes an attempt to change the greetings to not offend the few, losing the meaning and some of the history of the holiday for the rest of us.

During the bitter winter of 1777 George Washington and his closest men celebrated Christmas Eve with a dinner of rice and vinegar in their winter encampment in Valley Forge.

During the American Civil War both sides celebrated Christmas with special food and celebration.  President Lincoln held a Christmas party in the White House in 1861. He also visited troops and soldiers in the hospital on Christmas Day with his son. Union Soldiers pulled carts through parts of Georgia decorated like a sleigh with horse dressed to look like reindeer and handed out food.

During World War I on Christmas Day the fighting stopped in the trenches and they sang carols and exchanged cigarettes and chocolates.  There was even a soccer game between the English and German soldiers.

The founding fathers were Christians, and when they wrote the First Amendment they wrote that “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.” They did not want a state religion forced on the people, and they did not want the country to be ruled by the church.  The term I hear so many people speak about so often is “the wall of separation between church and state.”  To set the record straight for all those people who like to throw it out there: it is not and never was in the US Constitution. It was written by Thomas Jefferson to a church that heard a rumor that Congress was going to make a national religion in 1802.

Christmas is a celebration of the gift of God to us: the birth of Jesus.  It is a celebration of love, sacrifice, forgiveness and grace. It is the unselfish act of God sending his son into the world so that we may all have everlasting life.

The whole world benefits from Christmas, no matter who you are or what you believe in or don’t believe in, there are no negative effects of a celebration of our savior.

Merry Christmas and God Bless!

John 3:16

16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

 

On Time

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DCIM100GOPRO

The Creek

We measure our time by seconds, minutes and hours. Each of us only has a limited amount of time on earth, so it’s important we don’t waste our time or others.  A plane flight, a party, a dinner date, or a work meeting, it does not matter what the event is: each has a defined time period at which you should be present.  

Today many people consider a lack of punctuality “okay.” I sometimes wonder if I am the only person who values punctuality anymore.  As a trainer, I have heard every excuse that can be made, and they are all just that: excuses.  

Everyone at some point or another has something happen out of their control that makes them late.  However, when someone makes a habit of being late, and everyone expects them to be late, they are more than late: they are rude.  They consistently show a lack of respect for other people’s time.   In a way, they have become a thief: they have stolen time from others that could have been used for another purpose.

The father of our country, George Washington, was a stickler for being on time.  He demanded it of everyone he came into contact with during his lifetime.  George must have gotten along well with Benjamin Franklin because he was also known for holding punctuality as being of the utmost importance.

All of our time is a valuable commodity, no matter who you are or what you do in life.  

Does the Bible say, “Thou shalt not be late?” No.  But it does tell us to love one another.  It also says that love is not rude, and that we are to treat others as more important than ourselves.

When you are late and cause someone to wait for you, you may be doing more harm than just disrespect.  You will likely also aggravate them, maybe causing them to become angry and/or stressed.  You have become a stumbling block for them.

When we make an appointment or set up a meeting for a certain time, it is an agreement by us to the other party. Being punctual shows that we value them and their time.  It conveys dependability and responsibility.   

If you wish to be a leader and gain respect, you should always show up on time, otherwise, how can you ever ask the same from anyone else?

Do you want to be known as someone who is trustworthy and dependable?

If you’ve developed some bad habits for being late – it’s not too late for you to overcome them.  The first step is to realize that your actions affect your character and also the lives of those around you.  Being more responsible with your time will help you develop good character.  You cannot control other people, but you can always control yourself.  Being reliable and punctual will give you an edge in life.

Philippians 2:3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.

Philippians 4:8-9

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Thanksgiving

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DCIM100GOPRO

Thanksgiving

 

This week is known as a big week for food. Thanksgiving. When you think of Thanksgiving, do you think of turkey, Pilgrims in funny hats, Christmas shopping and football games? The true spirit of Thanksgiving can get lost among everything else.  

A lot of us were taught that the first Thanksgiving in the new world was celebrated by the Pilgrims that came over on the Mayflower and landed in what they called Plymouth Harbor.

The truth is: more than half of the Pilgrims did not survive that first winter 1620-21, due to the harsh weather and lack of nutrition.  They were not the first to struggle.  

The local natives, encouraged by an English speaker named Tisquantum, or “Squanto,” taught the colony how to plant and grow corn, how to fish and how to trap Beaver. The harvest of 1621 that came just before winter was much more bountiful than they had hoped for that year. They decided to have a feast that would last three days to celebrate. They invited the Pokanokets, a local tribe to join them.  There were ninety Pokanokets, fifty-three  Pilgrims in attendance at the the Thanksgiving of 1621.  

It was not the first Thanksgiving in the new world. There were other colonies and settlements that had celebrated the fall harvest with a festival for many years before the Mayflower arrived.  They also had them every year in Europe to celebrate the harvest.

The first national proclamation in the United States for Thanksgiving was given by the Continental Congress in 1777. Later, in December of 1777, General George Washington also declared a day of Thanksgiving after defeating the British at Saratoga.

President Lincoln in 1863 during the Civil War proclaimed a national day of Thanksgiving to be held on the last Thursday in November.

Finally, in 1942, the US Congress declared Thanksgiving to be held on the fourth Thursday in November and they made it a holiday.

Thanksgiving is not about turkey, pie and football.  It is a time to give thanks for everything that we were blessed with during the past year.  

It is a celebration of all that we have been blessed with in this country and in our lives.  It is a time to spend with family and those close to us.

What do you have to be thankful for?  Even if you had some rough times or just plain bad times, you are still here and you have things to be thankful for.

This Thanksgiving I have a lot more to be thankful for than I ever thought possible.  Even the bad times this year I can say helped me grow.

I am healthy, I have the gift of words and freedom to express my feelings.  I live in a beautiful country.  

I am blessed with opportunities to encourage many people that I meet to live a healthy lifestyle.  I have the love of my wife.

I thank God, for being both creator and provider.

People may want to rewrite history, but the real truth is that this is a holiday where we thank the Lord. And make no mistake, our Founding Fathers believed it too!

The Continental congress wrote.

“Commanding the observation of THURSDAY the TWENTY-EIGHTH DAY OF NOVEMBER next as a day of SOLEMN THANKSGIVING to GOD for all His mercies; and they do further recommend to all ranks to testify their gratitude to God for His goodness by a cheerful obedience to His laws and by promoting, each in his station, and by his influence, the practice of true and undefiled religion, which is the great foundation of public prosperity and national happiness.”

President Lincoln wrote.

“Set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens.”

Psalm 136:1-26

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever. Give thanks to the God of gods, for his steadfast love endures forever. Give thanks to the Lord of lords, for his steadfast love endures forever; to him who alone does great wonders, for his steadfast love endures forever; to him who by understanding made the heavens, for his steadfast love endures forever;

Your Story

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DCIM100GOPRO

 

Written history is mostly composed of the stories of the lives of leaders and people who came to prominence.  It is rare to read about what the ordinary man was doing and thinking in their daily life.

Each of us has a story to tell.  

Every story has a beginning, a middle and an end.  You know your beginnings, but you are shaping the middle right now – in everyday life.  The opportunities presented each day may not seem to be much at first, when compared to the stories you are used to reading – but keep in mind that great things happen to average people when they recognize opportunities and act on them.

In every good tale, the hero encounters obstacles. Remember that those obstacles serve to strengthen the hero, and they are not the end of the story.  When life is hard and we feel like we just cannot go further, it is the people who rise up strong and overcome who become heroes in their own story.

Step back from your life’s story and look at it as an outsider.  

What is the goal of the main character? How do they handle challenges?

And here’s the big question: How do you want your story to end?

In the end, we are all human.  No matter how much money or success we accumulate during our lifetime, we cannot take it with us when we die.  You can, however, leave an impact on those around you when you go.  Interact with others, encourage them, help them, build them up, treat them with love and respect.  Not because you may gain something, but because loving others is important.

When asked what the greatest of all the commandments was, Jesus answered “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.  This is the greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.”  Is this commandment evident in the story of your life?  What do you love with all your heart?  We all have something we put first – whether it’s our own pleasure, possessions, power, strength, beauty… the list goes on and on.

This past Sunday we became members at Minooka Bible Church.  We have an awesome pastor, Arol, who teaches us and encourages us each week to be real with God, real with each other, and real in the world.  He gives each new member a Bible verse when they join, and here is the verse he gave me:

Colossians 4:5-6

Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.