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Makes Us Angry

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This is a post that is close to my heart.  I cannot tell you how many years I walked around with a huge chip on my shoulder.

In the past, any number of things might set me off.   I had all these notions of what it was to be a man.  I wanted and felt I deserved respect.  Whenever I felt wronged, I would spend days, weeks, months plotting how I was going to get back at that person.  I would go over it in my head and work myself up.  You know the old saying the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, yet expecting a different outcome? That was me!  

It’s important to realize that nobody else has the power to make you angry.  When another person does something that we don’t like or that affects us negatively,  we have the power to control how we respond.

When I began to see that I could control my reaction to any situation, and that getting angry to get back at others was only hurting myself, I began to realize that my reactions to situations in life were actually holding me back.

When situations arose and I felt myself becoming angry, I made a conscious decision instead that I was not going that route.  I started to slowly see changes in myself.  Life is a work in progress.  

One of the ways I have learned a lot about anger is through Jiu Jitsu.  Jiu Jitsu is human chess and you must relax and set up moves sometimes six ahead of your opponent. There is no way you can compete when you are angry.  If you react in anger to your opponent, you will make foolish moves, waste energy and take foolish chances that will hurt you in the end.  It’s the same in life when you react to others in anger.

I still struggle with my bad attitude when things are tough or I’m having a bad day. I start to take it out on people around me instead of realizing that they have nothing to do with why I am upset. When I realize that, it is then up to me to put a stop to it.

For now I will keep working on always being aware of my attitude and consciously choosing not to react in anger.

Ephesians 4:26-27

In your anger do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.

James 1:19-20

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

Proverbs 29:11

Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.

On Time

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The Creek

We measure our time by seconds, minutes and hours. Each of us only has a limited amount of time on earth, so it’s important we don’t waste our time or others.  A plane flight, a party, a dinner date, or a work meeting, it does not matter what the event is: each has a defined time period at which you should be present.  

Today many people consider a lack of punctuality “okay.” I sometimes wonder if I am the only person who values punctuality anymore.  As a trainer, I have heard every excuse that can be made, and they are all just that: excuses.  

Everyone at some point or another has something happen out of their control that makes them late.  However, when someone makes a habit of being late, and everyone expects them to be late, they are more than late: they are rude.  They consistently show a lack of respect for other people’s time.   In a way, they have become a thief: they have stolen time from others that could have been used for another purpose.

The father of our country, George Washington, was a stickler for being on time.  He demanded it of everyone he came into contact with during his lifetime.  George must have gotten along well with Benjamin Franklin because he was also known for holding punctuality as being of the utmost importance.

All of our time is a valuable commodity, no matter who you are or what you do in life.  

Does the Bible say, “Thou shalt not be late?” No.  But it does tell us to love one another.  It also says that love is not rude, and that we are to treat others as more important than ourselves.

When you are late and cause someone to wait for you, you may be doing more harm than just disrespect.  You will likely also aggravate them, maybe causing them to become angry and/or stressed.  You have become a stumbling block for them.

When we make an appointment or set up a meeting for a certain time, it is an agreement by us to the other party. Being punctual shows that we value them and their time.  It conveys dependability and responsibility.   

If you wish to be a leader and gain respect, you should always show up on time, otherwise, how can you ever ask the same from anyone else?

Do you want to be known as someone who is trustworthy and dependable?

If you’ve developed some bad habits for being late – it’s not too late for you to overcome them.  The first step is to realize that your actions affect your character and also the lives of those around you.  Being more responsible with your time will help you develop good character.  You cannot control other people, but you can always control yourself.  Being reliable and punctual will give you an edge in life.

Philippians 2:3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.

Philippians 4:8-9

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Fulfillment

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The Creek

 

Do you feel a void in your life? If so, this post is for you.  

What is it that you seek, success? Someone’s approval?  

Some people are always looking to the next thing they need, others just plan to keep working until they feel fulfilled.  Still, others look for a pill to take away the feeling altogether.  There is a long list of “miracle drugs” for whatever ails you, each with an even longer list of side effects.  

Maybe you think if you lost ten pounds, all your problems would be gone.  As a trainer, I hear this all the time.  When you think of fitness in that way, you are destined to fail.  Gimmicky diets will cost you muscle, which burns fat, so when you go back to your normal eating you will gain it all back and more.

There is no fast and easy way. You must be willing to put in the work.  There is no need to purchase new and fancy equipment, special supplements or expensive drinks and foods.  You can work with anything, as long as you are willing to work.

Will being in the best shape of your life fill the void?  The answer will be no.  You will feel better about yourself, your health will be improved  and others will notice, but…

There is always that word, but. If someone gave you your dream car, will it satisfy you?  Maybe you will feel good for a time, but I would guess you will not find fulfillment, purpose or peace in a car.

The media is full of tales of the richest, most beautiful people in the world, who are not happy.

It is not just modern man that seeks to fill what they think they are missing.

One of history’s most well-known adventure tales first appeared in a text in 1180 AD. It was Chrétien de Troyes a verse romance written in French, the Conte del Graal (‘Story of the Grail’), or just, Perceval.

The Grail is said to bring the person who has it happiness, health, eternal youth and eternal life.  It was an instant hit. People today still search for the “Grail,” which was the cup that Jesus drank out of at the Last Supper.

The whole romantic search for the Grail is just that, a fictional story.

It is not the Grail that brings these things.  The grail was just a cup.  According to Jesus’ own words, the secret to life is not in the cup.  It lies in what the drink inside the cup represented.

John 6:53-58

So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day. For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him. As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so whoever feeds on me, he also will live because of me.

There it is, written in the book that is the all-time bestseller, the Bible. The Holy Grail is available for all of us.

We’re all sinners, and as a result, we all fall short of the glory of God.  We can’t get into heaven on our own merit.  So, God sent his son Jesus to earth to live as a man, with the purpose of being a holy sacrifice for our sins.  So that anyone who believed in him and accepted the gift of salvation, can spend eternity with God in heaven.  That, is the holy grail – the forgiveness of sins.

At the Last Supper, before Jesus was nailed to a cross for our sins, he shared the cup, the grail, and told his closest friends that anyone who “drinks of the cup” which represents the blood of his sacrifice, will live eternally.  

I once only believed only in myself.  I thought religion was for others, for weak people.  I searched all over for whatever the next thing would be that could fulfill my needs.  Now I’ve come to understand that only Jesus fills the void.

Thanksgiving

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Thanksgiving

 

This week is known as a big week for food. Thanksgiving. When you think of Thanksgiving, do you think of turkey, Pilgrims in funny hats, Christmas shopping and football games? The true spirit of Thanksgiving can get lost among everything else.  

A lot of us were taught that the first Thanksgiving in the new world was celebrated by the Pilgrims that came over on the Mayflower and landed in what they called Plymouth Harbor.

The truth is: more than half of the Pilgrims did not survive that first winter 1620-21, due to the harsh weather and lack of nutrition.  They were not the first to struggle.  

The local natives, encouraged by an English speaker named Tisquantum, or “Squanto,” taught the colony how to plant and grow corn, how to fish and how to trap Beaver. The harvest of 1621 that came just before winter was much more bountiful than they had hoped for that year. They decided to have a feast that would last three days to celebrate. They invited the Pokanokets, a local tribe to join them.  There were ninety Pokanokets, fifty-three  Pilgrims in attendance at the the Thanksgiving of 1621.  

It was not the first Thanksgiving in the new world. There were other colonies and settlements that had celebrated the fall harvest with a festival for many years before the Mayflower arrived.  They also had them every year in Europe to celebrate the harvest.

The first national proclamation in the United States for Thanksgiving was given by the Continental Congress in 1777. Later, in December of 1777, General George Washington also declared a day of Thanksgiving after defeating the British at Saratoga.

President Lincoln in 1863 during the Civil War proclaimed a national day of Thanksgiving to be held on the last Thursday in November.

Finally, in 1942, the US Congress declared Thanksgiving to be held on the fourth Thursday in November and they made it a holiday.

Thanksgiving is not about turkey, pie and football.  It is a time to give thanks for everything that we were blessed with during the past year.  

It is a celebration of all that we have been blessed with in this country and in our lives.  It is a time to spend with family and those close to us.

What do you have to be thankful for?  Even if you had some rough times or just plain bad times, you are still here and you have things to be thankful for.

This Thanksgiving I have a lot more to be thankful for than I ever thought possible.  Even the bad times this year I can say helped me grow.

I am healthy, I have the gift of words and freedom to express my feelings.  I live in a beautiful country.  

I am blessed with opportunities to encourage many people that I meet to live a healthy lifestyle.  I have the love of my wife.

I thank God, for being both creator and provider.

People may want to rewrite history, but the real truth is that this is a holiday where we thank the Lord. And make no mistake, our Founding Fathers believed it too!

The Continental congress wrote.

“Commanding the observation of THURSDAY the TWENTY-EIGHTH DAY OF NOVEMBER next as a day of SOLEMN THANKSGIVING to GOD for all His mercies; and they do further recommend to all ranks to testify their gratitude to God for His goodness by a cheerful obedience to His laws and by promoting, each in his station, and by his influence, the practice of true and undefiled religion, which is the great foundation of public prosperity and national happiness.”

President Lincoln wrote.

“Set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens.”

Psalm 136:1-26

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever. Give thanks to the God of gods, for his steadfast love endures forever. Give thanks to the Lord of lords, for his steadfast love endures forever; to him who alone does great wonders, for his steadfast love endures forever; to him who by understanding made the heavens, for his steadfast love endures forever;

Your Story

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Written history is mostly composed of the stories of the lives of leaders and people who came to prominence.  It is rare to read about what the ordinary man was doing and thinking in their daily life.

Each of us has a story to tell.  

Every story has a beginning, a middle and an end.  You know your beginnings, but you are shaping the middle right now – in everyday life.  The opportunities presented each day may not seem to be much at first, when compared to the stories you are used to reading – but keep in mind that great things happen to average people when they recognize opportunities and act on them.

In every good tale, the hero encounters obstacles. Remember that those obstacles serve to strengthen the hero, and they are not the end of the story.  When life is hard and we feel like we just cannot go further, it is the people who rise up strong and overcome who become heroes in their own story.

Step back from your life’s story and look at it as an outsider.  

What is the goal of the main character? How do they handle challenges?

And here’s the big question: How do you want your story to end?

In the end, we are all human.  No matter how much money or success we accumulate during our lifetime, we cannot take it with us when we die.  You can, however, leave an impact on those around you when you go.  Interact with others, encourage them, help them, build them up, treat them with love and respect.  Not because you may gain something, but because loving others is important.

When asked what the greatest of all the commandments was, Jesus answered “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.  This is the greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.”  Is this commandment evident in the story of your life?  What do you love with all your heart?  We all have something we put first – whether it’s our own pleasure, possessions, power, strength, beauty… the list goes on and on.

This past Sunday we became members at Minooka Bible Church.  We have an awesome pastor, Arol, who teaches us and encourages us each week to be real with God, real with each other, and real in the world.  He gives each new member a Bible verse when they join, and here is the verse he gave me:

Colossians 4:5-6

Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

Seasons

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Fall

I realized this week that our second winter on the farm in Illinois is quickly approaching and I am looking forward to it! Living most of my life in California, I never experienced the changing seasons or the beauty of fall in the countryside.  When I lived in Brooklyn and Manhattan I would just get on a plane and head back home to California for a week each month when it got cold.

I never dreamed that I would be living on a farm with chickens, honey bees, ducks, dogs and acres of corn and beans. The chicken breasts I bought in the grocery store always came wrapped in plastic. I’ve learned that they do not start that way.  

It has been a period of learning.  I have learned about another way of life and I have also learned a lot about myself.

My life has been a series of small changes that have taken place very slowly because I was afraid of change. God wanted to heal my stone heart, but I resisted it along the way.  Looking back I have to laugh at myself because all of this could have been much easier.

 I took the long way.   How many of you resist change?  I did for so long because I wanted to hold on to some vague idea I had about myself.  I was a slave to ideas and thoughts that kept me in various states of the same place in life.

Today, I want to work on everything in my life that I feel could change for the better.  I want to do it all at once, but I know that I have to work on one thing at a time.  Trying to move fast or working on too many problems at once will just lead to failure. Do you try to accomplish so much at one time that you end up getting nothing finished?

I think about where I am now in life and I feel this is where I should be at this time.  It is another learning stage where I will be until I have grown and am ready for the next stage.  Have you ever thought about the stages we go through and what purpose they serve?

Growing up we had a small lawn that took me at most a half an hour to mow.  When I was older I just hired a gardener like everyone else.  Mowing the grass on the farm takes me four to six hours and at some point it in the seasons it may even need to be done twice a week. There are days that can be so hot that I’m drenched in sweat or it can be so cold that I have to cover every part of my body to stay warm.  I enjoy mowing, it gives me time to think about everything.  It is a little like hitting a heavy bag with music blaring.  The rest of the world does not matter.  I am concentrating on a simple task, from start to finish.  Do you have anything in your life like that?

Living in Los Angeles I used to wake up at 4am so I could hike with Phoenix (my dog) every morning.  It was a perfect time when the city was quiet and dark.  I loved being up in the hills of the park when it was dark.  Here there are no hills but there is plenty of open space and lots of stars to see. I had to change things up after we adopted Henry (our other dog) so that I had more time in the morning. 3am is my new time to hit the road with the two dogs.  I am often asked how I do it at that time.  It is easy because it is my regular schedule.  I am committed to take out my dogs for a walk every morning no matter what.  Do you value your commitments?  Will you keep them even when it is hard or the weather is bad?

There is an added benefit with the early walks.  I get to see a lot of wildlife that most people never get to see.  I have seen coyotes, skunks, a bobcat, lots of raccoons, owls, a bald eagle, and many deer.   I get to learn about the land and what it supports.  I also add a few miles of cardio to my day.

Our lives are not straight lines to our destinations.  Life isn’t one long season, but more like the weather in the midwest, with seasons of growth, harvest and some cold hard winters and other lighter winters.  I have enjoyed the beautiful colors of fall this month and I am looking forward to this coming second winter.  Then, a new spring where everything comes back alive.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

1 To everything

, there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

Ezekiel 11:19

19 I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh.

In Weakness

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The Robot Surgeon

Last week started the same as any other week.  On Tuesday, after I trained my clients, I headed to wrestling and Jiu-Jitsu practice for two long hours.  I came home exhausted.  I rehydrated, showered and tried to sleep. I didn’t eat any food because early the next morning I was going to have an operation to fix a hernia.

After many years of uninterrupted mixed martial arts training, I was going to have to slow down.

There were so many things going through my mind. As I laid in bed I watched an educational video about general anesthesia, since I’d never had any surgery before.  I was worried about it.  What if I didn’t wake up?  What if I was allergic to the medications they gave me? What if…?  

Then I started thinking about the recovery.  How long would it be before I could exercise again? Spar? Lift kettlebells? Walk my dogs?

Sleep came hard with all these thoughts going through my mind.  I was up early to head to the hospital, and saw that in the night I had gotten emails and texts from people wishing me well.  Friends from my small group at church said they were praying for me.  People reaching out helped to ease my mind.

My head was pounding from dehydration, hunger and lack of caffeine.  Every morning I drink at least one huge cup of the strongest, thickest coffee to start my day.  Once I tried to give up coffee, and I lasted eighteen hours before I broke down and drank a cup.

My wife drove me towards the hospital, down a quiet country road alongside the recently harvested and now very barren fields.  She said a prayer, and I began to relax and let the anxiety go.

Once in the hospital, everything moved pretty quickly.  We filled out some papers and then I was given a gown, a bed and wheeled toward pre-op where they started my IV.  When the resident who was helping with my anesthesia came in, I was reading a book.  I looked up and noticed she looked just like a friend of mine from Los Angeles named Shannon.  That was the last thing I remember until I woke up several hours later and asked the nurses when the surgery would start.

When they told me it was over, I was a little disappointed because I had wanted to see the robot that was performing the laparoscopic surgery on me.  

The rest of the day was a blur.  The next morning I felt better, good enough to walk around the farm a couple of times.  I thought, “Wow, this is going to be easy, I’ll be training in no time.”

When evening came, so did the pain.  It hurt deep down in my abdomen all night, even the ice and the prescription pain meds (which I hadn’t intended to take) weren’t taking the edge off.  That night and the following day were the worst. There were times that I didn’t know how I could deal with it.   

And then it was over.  Saturday my pain was almost gone and I stopped taking any pain pills.  

Sunday was a busy day at church, and I had no problem being up and about.  I felt good, but was pretty tired by the end of the day.

By Monday morning I was back to my normal routine, up before dawn walking the dogs, heading to the gym to train clients, and then home to write.

For my whole life, I have found my identity in my physical strength.  Other things about my life changed, but I always had my martial arts and my fitness.  Surgery stripped that from me temporarily, and I had to rely on others to help me in things I had always been able to do for myself.  It made me question where I get my strength from when I have none of my own.  God is the ultimate source of both strength and peace in any situation.  

It was a great experience for me.  Not only is my hernia fixed, but I have a new appreciation for all the small things that make up each day that I took for granted, and for God being my strength when I am weak.

Isaiah 41:10

Fear not, for I am with you;

be not dismayed, for I am your God;

I will strengthen you, I will help you,

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Hebrews 4:16

Let us approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

1 Thessalonians 5:18

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

The Main Character

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Maybe you got the right grades in high school and attended a good college.  You came out ready to set the world on fire, but settled instead for a steady paycheck. Or, maybe like me, you went against the norm and caused some trouble earlier in life.  The unconventional life is what I lived. I always felt that there was so much more to life than playing it safe.

What makes you tick? If you were writing down your story, how would you describe your character?  Grab a piece of paper and a pen, and jot down a few things.  It’s not what we do for a living that defines us, it’s who we are as a person and what we live for.

Why does your character make the choices they do?

How does their life affect those closest to them?

What has your character learned that they can pass on to others?

How would others describe your character?

These are just answers for you to think about, not for anyone else to see, so answer them truthfully.  Now that you have a description of your character,  let it sit for a bit.  Come back to it later and read it again.

Do you like the character that you see forming on the page?  If yes – great!

If you are not happy in anyway, get busy.

All of us benefit by thinking about the people we look up to, and qualities they possess.  By working to incorporate those qualities into our day-to-day life, they can become part of our character too.

As long as you are still living, the story isn’t over.  The character is not written in stone.

No matter who you are or what you are doing now, you have within yourself the ability to change your story, improve your character.

Investing time in improving your character is time well spent. We all have time.  How we spend it comes down to what is most important to us.

Part of the character building process is realizing we can not go at it alone.  Ask for advice, ask for help, and when you do you may be surprised at the outcome.

Looking back at the main character of my story, there were a lot of qualities I’m not proud of in the younger me.  The good news is, I wasn’t doomed to stay that way forever.  With commitment, time, hard work, help from others and a lot of help from God, I’ve changed.  I’m still a work in progress, and my story isn’t over, but I’m here to let you know, you can change too if your character isn’t what you want it to be.

If you had a hard time coming up with a list of qualities that you have, the Bible is a great place to look.  It has a whole lot to say about character traits.  For every good character quality, there is a bad counterpart.  Take a few minutes to glance through the list below.  Pick a quality listed and see which side of the coin your character currently sits on.

CHARACTER TRAITS

Alertness vs.  Unawareness

Being aware of that which is taking place around me so I  can have the right response to it (Mark 14:38)

Attentiveness vs.  Unconcern

Showing the worth of a person by giving undivided  attention to his words and emotions (Hebrews 2:1)

Availability vs.  Self-centeredness

Making my own schedule and priorities secondary to the  wishes of those I am serving (Philippians 2:20–21

Contentment vs.  Covetousness

Realizing that God has provided everything I need for my  present happiness (I Timothy 6:8)

Creativity vs.  Underachievement

Approaching a need, a task, an idea from a new perspective  (Romans 12:2)

Decisiveness vs.  Double-mindedness

The ability to finalize difficult decisions based on the  will and ways of God (James 1:5)

Deference vs.  Rudeness

Limiting my freedom in order not offend the tastes of  those whom God has called me to serve (Romans 14:21)

Dependability vs.  Inconsistency

Fulfilling what I consented to do even if it means  unexpected sacrifice (Psalm 15:4)

Determination vs.  Faintheartedness

Purposing to accomplish God’s goals in God’s time  regardless of the opposition (II Timothy 4:7–8)

Diligence vs.  Slothfulness

Visualizing each task as a special assignment from the  Lord and using all my energies to accomplish it (Colossians 3:23)

Discretion vs.  Simplemindedness

The ability to avoid words, actions, and attitudes which  could result in undesirable consequences (Proverbs 22:3)

Endurance vs.  Giving up

The inward strength to withstand stress to accomplish  God’s best (Galatians 6:9)

Flexibility vs.  Resistance

Not setting my affections on ideas or plans which could be  changed by God or others (Colossians 3:2)

Forgiveness vs.  Rejection

Clearing the record of those who have wronged me and  allowing God to love them through me (Ephesians 4:32)

Generosity vs.  Stinginess

Realizing that all I have belongs to God and using it for  His purposes (II Corinthians 9:6)

Gentleness vs.  Harshness

Showing personal care and concern in meeting the need of  others (I Thessalonians 2:7)

Gratefulness vs.  Unthankfulness

Making known to God and others in what ways they have  benefited my life (I Corinthians 4:7)

Hospitality vs.  Loneliness

Cheerfully sharing food, shelter, and spiritual  refreshment with those whom God brings into my life (Hebrews 13:2)

Humility vs.  Pride

Recognizing that it is actually God who is responsible for the achievements in my life (James 4:6)

Initiative vs.  Unresponsiveness

Recognizing and doing what needs to be done before I am asked to do it (Romans 12:21)

Joyfulness vs.  Self-pity

The spontaneous enthusiasm of my spirit when my soul is in  fellowship with the Lord (Psalm 16:11)

Love vs.  Selfishness

Giving to others’ basic needs without having as my motive  personal reward (I Corinthians 13:3)

Loyalty vs.  Unfaithfulness

Using difficult times to demonstrate my commitment to God  and to those whom He has called me to serve (John 15:13)

Meekness vs.  Anger

Yielding my personal rights and expectations to God (Psalm 62:5)

Orderliness vs.  Disorganization

Preparing myself and my surroundings so I will achieve the  greatest efficiency (I Corinthians 14:40)

Patience vs.  Restlessness

Accepting a difficult situation from God without giving  Him a deadline to remove it (Romans 5:3–4)

Punctuality vs. Tardiness

Showing high esteem for other people and their time (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

Resourcefulness vs.  Wastefulness

Wise use of that which others would normally overlook or  discard (Luke 16:10)

Responsibility vs.  Unreliability

Knowing and doing what both God and others are expecting  from me (Romans 14:12)

Security vs.  Anxiety

Structuring my life around that which is eternal and cannot be destroyed or taken away (John 6:27)

Self-Control vs.  Self-indulgence

Obedience to the promptings of God’s Spirit (Galatians 5:24–25)

Sensitivity vs.  Callousness

Exercising my senses so I can perceive the true spirit and  emotions of those around me (Romans 12:15)

Sincerity vs.  Hypocrisy

Eagerness to do what is right with transparent motives (I Peter 1:22)

Thoroughness vs.  Incompleteness

Knowing what factors will diminish the effectiveness of my  work or words if neglected (Proverbs 18:15)

Thriftiness vs.  Extravagance

Not letting myself or others spend that which is not  necessary (Luke 16:11)

Tolerance vs.  Prejudice

Acceptance of others as unique expressions of specific character qualities in varying degrees of maturity (Philippians 2:2)

Truthfulness vs.  Deception

Earning future trust by accurately reporting past facts (Ephesians 4:25)

Virtue vs.  Impurity

The moral excellence and purity of spirit that radiate  from my life as I obey God’s Word (II Peter 1:3)

 

List taken and edited from the one found at: http://graceonlinelibrary.org/home-family/christian-parenting/49-godly-character-qualities

 

No Excuses

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DCIM100GOPRO

Fun

When I was growing up, I watched the people around me and learned from what I observed.  I wanted to be a part of a certain criminal lifestyle, and everyone in that circle was older than me.  The only way that I could be a part of that world was to do everything better than those around me.  

I took all the advice that came my way from the older, more successful criminals around me. The mafia life is one of oral history and apprenticeship, there is no “school” to graduate from, so being able to listen was a huge part of it.

An older guy once told me, “Listen, nobody cares about your personal problems. Just get done what you’re asked to do.” That stuck with me my whole life.  The rules were clear. Do what you are told, and never come back empty handed or with any excuse.You always show up when called for, and on time. If there might be traffic, leave early.  If there might be bad traffic, leave earlier.  Being late was a sign of disrespect.

Those lessons became part of my life and I was able to see the consequences when people did not follow them.

Take some time to sit and listen to people talking around you in different places.  Observe conversations on social media.  You will hear a lot of blame and a lot of excuses.  It takes more courage to step up and take responsibility for your own actions instead of making excuses.

“But Kenji… Life isn’t fair! ________ happened to me!”

Life is unfair.  No amount of wishing, or talking, or blaming will ever change that.  What we can do is be as fair as possible in our own lives and accept that worrying about things that are beyond our control will do more harm than good.

You will be surprised at how much inner peace a simple act of stepping up and taking responsibility for your life will bring you.  If you made a mistake, you can analyze your actions  and learn what to do different in the future.  Worrying about what someone else did will get you nowhere since you can’t control their future or past actions.

Approaching life in this way and makes it easier to love others, even when they may have wronged you.

What would you lose by taking responsibility for your life?  Try it out for awhile and see what happens.  Like any new endeavor, it may take a bit of time to change your reaction in circumstances.  Learn to fill your mind by thinking about positive things instead of focusing on the negative events of life.  The other choice is to keep living life like so many who spend their days blaming others for their situation.

2 Corinthians 5:10

For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.

Galatians 6:5

For each will have to bear his own load.

Philippians 4:8

Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.

Thessalonians 5:16-18

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

 

Ignite Change

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DCIM100GOPRO

Change

Some of us are leaders, some of us want to be leaders, and for some, the idea of leading is scary. The truth is, we lead every day with our actions. Leading is not about telling people what to do, it is about people watching and learning the way you process and respond to life, and then deciding to follow suite.

A writer friend of mine once told me to “show not tell,” in my stories. That applies not only to writing but life. What he was saying is don’t just tell the reader about a situation, show them through the character’s actions.

I have been thinking about this a lot in the last few days as I’ve been bombarded by negative news in the media.  It would seem the world has gone mad and everyone has a grievance.  On a large scale things seem so far from where they should be, and it’s easy to get discouraged.  While we may never be able to fix the world or even the city/town we live in, we can each set an example in how we live our life.  You can’t give up – you have to keep improving, starting with yourself.

Think about your life, do you talk one way around some people and live another? Start matching your actions with those words.  This is why so many people act out, we are told one thing, but what they see being done is something completely different.

Change comes from the those who lead the way. I will share a little bit of what I have learned through my journey of change.

I decided that I need to change my life in 1996. I did not know at that time where the changes ahead would take me, and it’s a journey I’m still on today.  It was a daunting task because I had so many areas of my life that I needed to work on. I knew how to see things through on a smaller scale, and I decided to apply that to my life.  The first thing I had to do was change my environment.

I started devoting time bettering myself through knowledge and exercise. I made these two things priorities and made pursuing them a habit.  I pinned down aspects of my life that I knew were wrong, and I began to work on them one at a time.   As soon as I conquered one, I would learn that I had two more to work on.

I learned over time that being strong is not the same thing as being confrontational or aggressive.  I had to learn to humble myself and open my mind up to things outside of myself. Finally, I began to treat others the way I wanted to be treated.  The biggest moment of change and humility for me was when I realized I was living my life for myself when I should live it for God.

 Then one day, for the first time in my life, people started thanking me for being a positive and inspirational person.  This had never happened to me before because in the past I was known only for my negativity and the negative things I was capable of doing.

All this time, I’ve been working on change within, and the lessons I’ve learned and lived have had an effect on those around me.  I got a text yesterday from a friend and it read, “Dude thank you for inspiring me without being preachy.”

I have a long way to go, and I know I’ll never be perfect.  But while I’m on my journey I’m going to shine my light to anyone who is looking encouragement or a push in the direction of positive change.

Matthew 5:16

In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

Philippians 2:1-3

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.