Tag Archives: Life

Ignite Change

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Change

Some of us are leaders, some of us want to be leaders, and for some, the idea of leading is scary. The truth is, we lead every day with our actions. Leading is not about telling people what to do, it is about people watching and learning the way you process and respond to life, and then deciding to follow suite.

A writer friend of mine once told me to “show not tell,” in my stories. That applies not only to writing but life. What he was saying is don’t just tell the reader about a situation, show them through the character’s actions.

I have been thinking about this a lot in the last few days as I’ve been bombarded by negative news in the media.  It would seem the world has gone mad and everyone has a grievance.  On a large scale things seem so far from where they should be, and it’s easy to get discouraged.  While we may never be able to fix the world or even the city/town we live in, we can each set an example in how we live our life.  You can’t give up – you have to keep improving, starting with yourself.

Think about your life, do you talk one way around some people and live another? Start matching your actions with those words.  This is why so many people act out, we are told one thing, but what they see being done is something completely different.

Change comes from the those who lead the way. I will share a little bit of what I have learned through my journey of change.

I decided that I need to change my life in 1996. I did not know at that time where the changes ahead would take me, and it’s a journey I’m still on today.  It was a daunting task because I had so many areas of my life that I needed to work on. I knew how to see things through on a smaller scale, and I decided to apply that to my life.  The first thing I had to do was change my environment.

I started devoting time bettering myself through knowledge and exercise. I made these two things priorities and made pursuing them a habit.  I pinned down aspects of my life that I knew were wrong, and I began to work on them one at a time.   As soon as I conquered one, I would learn that I had two more to work on.

I learned over time that being strong is not the same thing as being confrontational or aggressive.  I had to learn to humble myself and open my mind up to things outside of myself. Finally, I began to treat others the way I wanted to be treated.  The biggest moment of change and humility for me was when I realized I was living my life for myself when I should live it for God.

 Then one day, for the first time in my life, people started thanking me for being a positive and inspirational person.  This had never happened to me before because in the past I was known only for my negativity and the negative things I was capable of doing.

All this time, I’ve been working on change within, and the lessons I’ve learned and lived have had an effect on those around me.  I got a text yesterday from a friend and it read, “Dude thank you for inspiring me without being preachy.”

I have a long way to go, and I know I’ll never be perfect.  But while I’m on my journey I’m going to shine my light to anyone who is looking encouragement or a push in the direction of positive change.

Matthew 5:16

In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

Philippians 2:1-3

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

 

Inner Strength

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G0010193.JPGThe strength to overcome what you know is not right.  The strength to face powerful opposition without giving up.  This is not physical strength, it is inner strength.

Like physical strength, we must exercise our inner strength it if we want to improve it.  We use our inner strength in both good and bad experiences throughout our lives. Most of our victories in life are the result of putting our inner strength to work, and it is tested in tragedies and turmoils that are never far from those times of triumph.  There is no escape from pain, so we must use the hard times to grow our inner strength.

When it comes time to develop our inner strength, it is easier to be more like water than steel.  We find the path of least resistance and head that way. I’m here to encourage you to take the difficult path instead.

It is often said that life is what we make it. I have come to learn that there is a lot of truth in that statement.  If we wake up and believe that this day will be bad, it very likely will be.  On the other hand, if you think of all the positive that will happen during your day, even a bad day can turn out pretty good.

Your inner strength has the possibility to change both your circumstances and your attitude.

Can you fight on after being dropped flat on your back? Can you not only stand back up, but finish strong? Can you decide to change and then follow through with it?  If you can, you have great inner strength.

If you feel your inner strength needs work, start by realizing and admitting your weaknesses.  Own your weaknesses, and work on them.  With dedication, you can turn them around into strengths.

I thought I had great inner strength, but it turns out I was fooling myself.  I realized just how weak I was in many ways once I surrendered my will to God’s.  I had viewed religion as a waste of time, and I had viewed myself as “in charge.”  Today I look forward to the quiet time when I can pray and connect with God.  My relationship with God gives me the inner strength to make the right choices, because he provides strength when I am weak. The best part of this? His strength is available to anyone who believes.

John 1:1-51

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

2 Peter 1:5-8

For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Titus 2:12

Training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age,

Freedom is not Free

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Freedom

Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness… often attributed incorrectly to the Constitution, they are the famous words found in the Declaration of Independence.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.”

You are free to choose how you spend your time, where you live, what you read, the words you speak, and the future you work towards.  There are no hordes of barbarians at your gates, no wild beasts hunting you, you don’t have to spend your days gathering and hunting for your meals.  If you believe you are being held down by some force, then you are – you will be holding yourself back.

So where is your time spent?  This is where the small steps and freedom of choice come into play daily our lives. Will you watch a tv drama, a sports game, or go to the gym?  We can spend our time on distractions or we can better ourselves and those around us. Exercise will make you feel better physically and mentally.  If you feel better, those around you will notice and be inspired.  Lead by example.  Will you spend an hour on Facebook or pick up a book and feed your mind?

Liberty, wrote Thomas Jefferson, is “unobstructed action according to our will within limits drawn around us by the equal rights of others.”  We are all given the right to do as we choose, as long as it does not infringe on others.   

Many people confuse unalienable rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness as the right to be cared for and have our needs met for us.  Our needs being met is not something we are owed by being born.  We have the freedom to choose how we meet them through our decisions and how we spend our time.

Government was never intended to take care of our needs – that is what we are intended to use our freedom to accomplish.  That and so much more! The beauty of life in our day is that meeting needs is just the beginning, the limit is the limit of your dreams and your hard work.

Very few people living in the United States understand this concept. Many people would prefer for the government to be our surrogate parents, taking care of us from the cradle to the grave.  That has become a big pattern of this world.  Paul writes in Romans that as Christians we are not to be conformed to the patterns of our world, but instead we should renew our minds, take care of our bodies, and seek God’s will.  Are you renewing your mind? Taking care of your Body?  Is your goal, as Paul instructs, to find and follow God’s will for your life?

ROMANS 12
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Tips from a Self Help Pro

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Everyone has goals and dreams, so why is it that some people reach them and others do not?

Our goals will depend entirely on what you deem to be important in life.  Money and possessions are top of the list for the many Americans, but goals can include spending more time doing the things that bring you joy – maybe taking a daily walk while the sun sets – or,  improving relationships with those you love.

The problem with most goals that aren’t achieved is that they are not specific enough.  Maybe you’re tired of your car breaking down and you want a new car.  What type of car, what does it cost, how long will it take you to save for it?  Maybe you want to spend more time reading or get more sleep.  What books do you want to read? What time do you need to go to bed to get enough sleep? Instead of just losing weight, what size pants do you want to wear, what weight do you want to reach?

Clarify your goals, make them specific.  Write them down.

Hopefully. you have multiple goals, and you take the time to define them all clearly.  It’s also helpful to identify and write down any possible pitfalls you might encounter on the way.

The second step is to come up with a plan on how you will start moving toward your goal.  Let’s say you chose weight loss. Do you want to just take a pill and lose it or maybe have an operation? A more realistic plan for long-term success would be to schedule 45 minutes at least three times each week exercising.  Find a trainer or a workout buddy to help keep you accountable.

Whether you reach your goal or not is entirely in your hands.

Now that you have those first two out of the way it is time for number three: putting your plan into action. Every person who ever began a new path in life began with nerves.  We like to be comfortable, and we feel secure when things stay the same, but there can be no change if you avoid unfamiliar ground.   Doubt will come to mind, but don’t let your mind hold you back.

The fourth part is putting in the work. You are building the foundation of your goal.  You may not notice anything for days or weeks at first, but if you work at it continually, you will.  I like setting small goals that I can hit along they way to my ultimate goal.  If your goal is a new car, set a goal to save $400.  Once you reach that, make a new goal of $1000.  Keep setting a new one after you reach the old.  Progress is all most of us need to keep moving forward.

Start picturing yourself accomplishing what was once only a goal.

 

 

 

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Rock Steady Boxing for Parkinson’s

 

What else could there be?  What else is important?  The fifth step is to keep going!  There are times you will feel discouraged, and there are times you will want to quit.   That is when you must dig deep – go back to the paper where you wrote down your goals and remember the reasons they are important to you.  Re-evaluate your methods and adjust, but keep moving forward.  If a door closes, you open another or go around.  Stick with it!

If this sounds like a chapter out of a self-help book, it’s because over the years I have read a LOT of them.  They all had something to offer – encouragement, a plan.  By following their suggestions I strengthened my resolve and accomplished a lot of goals.  Whether the goals were financial or physical, they brought short-term happiness and feelings of success, but none of them brought me lasting inner peace or joy.

My values changed when I started living my life to serve God instead myself.  The reasons behind my goals in the past were always self-serving.  Now, when I set goals and accomplish them, I do it to glorify Him, instead of myself.

1 Corinthians 10:31(NIV)

 

Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

 

Is There Grace For Me?

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The Farm

Years before I came back to God, I was under the impression that there would be no more church for me. I had these childhood thoughts in my mind that if I went to church again someday people would judge me. If they did ridicule me or look down at me, how could I blame them?

In 2003 I was still on the streets of Brooklyn as a connected guy to the Colombo family.To all those who knew me, I was just what I had always been: a mafia-connected thug.But I had a secret. I had been working for the FBI since 1996.  I was playing the role of a criminal at this point.  The operation was only supposed to last for six months to a year, and here I was in my seventh year.  It had taken it’s toll on me, both mentally and physically.  I was in the life, but not really – a kind of limbo.  I was constantly facing what all of my actions and decisions had done to people.

It had taken it’s toll on me, both mentally and physically.  I was in the life, but not really – a kind of limbo.  I was constantly facing what all of my actions and decisions had done to people.

One day stands out for me during this time. I was out with Uncle Manny driving around to construction sites.  Uncle Manny was giving me my daily lesson on mafia wisdom.  It was the  mafia’s form of indoctrination.  We were up in the Bronx when I received a call from Eddie G, a Colombo associate who ran a trucking business.  Eddie G wanted to know where I was at that moment.  I told him where I was at, and he told me I had to come see him at his truck yard on Staten Island. I must have looked upset because Manny asked me what was going on.  I told him Eddie G wanted me to go to his yard ASAP.  Manny asked me if I wanted him to come with me.

Eddie G was Manny’s nephew, so really what good would that do? I was scared right then and I had good reason to be afraid.  In the life, nobody wants to get sent for out of the blue.  So many thoughts were going through my mind, did they know the truth about me?

I got back to my place in Brooklyn and was soon in my car. I called the FBI and the New York office was closed, it was after business hours.  I called the Los Angeles office and got ahold of an agent I knew.  I told him where I would be going.  He told me I did not have to go, but in my mind, I had to, because if you did not come when sent for, it was over.

The drive was thirty minutes, which was mostly a blur.  I kept thinking, “This is it.” I hoped it would be quick. I thought about my family.  Would anyone ever know what happened to me?

I didn’t pray, but I thought I could just ask Jesus to forgive me before I died and I would be okay.

I pulled into the yard and Eddie was standing outside yelling at some guy.  He smiled when he saw me and motioned me over.  He told the guy to beat it and then he shook my hand.  He said, “Let’s walk and talk.”

He then told me he was putting together a fund to buy our capo a truck for Christmas.  Instant relief! You never saw anyone give up four grand faster than me that day.  That cash was out of my pocket and in his hand in seconds, and I would live another day.

Did I learn anything? I guess not, because I kept doing the same thing for years.

I felt almost as much dread the day I went to the church in San Marino after thirty plus years of walking away from the one I attended as a kid.  I thought that anyone there would know I was a fraud. I thought they would stare and speak under their breath about me. It had been almost ten years since I left New York and my life in the underworld.  I had gotten my life on a better track, but it was still empty, missing something.  I also carried around a lot of guilt from my former life, which made it hard for me to get close to others.

I felt that sharp intake of breath that I had felt on the street with a slight burning sensation in my stomach when I stepped into the church.  Once we started singing and then when the sermon started, I knew I was where I was supposed to be.

I have never felt so welcome and so at peace as I did that day when the service was over.

I found my way to Jesus and I was then fulfilled.

I signed up for and began attending Bible study the next week. I read the Gospels, and if you read them you’ll see the people Jesus chose to minister too.  He did not pick out the rulers, priests, rabbis or wealthy merchants.  He often chose regular people and those looked down on in the society, like a fisherman and a tax collector.

I read about Saul Tarsus who would become Paul later in life.  He was not who you would think Jesus would pick to be his disciple, yet it was who he picked. Jesus appeared to him on the road.  Saul had been a persecutor of Christians, but after his encounter with Jesus, he would be one of his strongest missionaries.

I understand Saul.  I went from meeting in truck yards, planning ways to make more money for a criminal organization, to today studying and sharing the word with anyone who will listen and spending time with fellow believers. This is my second chance.